What do you call a fish with no eyes?…Fsh
How do fish go into business?…They start on a small scale
A fish swam into a wall and said, “Dam!”
Why are fish so smart?…They are always in schools
Which fish go to heaven when they die?…Angelfish
What kind of money do fishermen make?…Net profits
What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird’s leg and a hand?…Birdsthigh fish fingers
Two parrots sitting on a perch…the first one says to the other “can you smell fish?”
What TV game show do fish like best?…Na​me that tuna
Where do fish wash?…In​ a river basin
What do you call a literary fish?…Salmon Rushdie
What part of a fish weighs the most?…It’s scales
What fish do road-menders use?…Pneumatic krill
What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings?…A fish tank
Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea?…Jack the kipper
What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend?…’Your plaice or mine’
Where does seaweed look for a job?…In the ‘Kelp-wanted’ ads
Why is a fish easy to weigh?…Because it has its own scales
What do naked fish play with?…Ba​re-a-cudas
Why are fish cleverer than humans?…Ev​er seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?
What did the fish do when his piano sounded odd?…He called the piano tuna
Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear?…Because they have electric ‘eels
What day of the week do fish hate?…Frydays
What was the name of Tom Sawyer’s fish?…Huckleberry Fin
Why are gold fish orange?…Th​e water makes them rusty
What was the Tsar of Russia’s favorite fish?…Tsardines​